FAMILY LAW REMINDER: As the holidays approach, family law attorneys receive more and more calls from parents with custody disputes. Most calls are about whose “time” it is – please remember that it is not “your time” or “their time.” It is your child’s time – they get one childhood. There are no do overs.
When parents are constantly fighting about time and other issues, they are creating childhood “memories” for their children. These children learn that their parents are always angry at each other because of “custody.” Children then believe that “if it weren’t for me (or us) my parents would be happy. They always fight and get angry about me.” These are not the holiday memories we want children to take into adulthood.
Except when there are REAL safety concerns, the Court expects you to let your children participate in BOTH families. This may not always be convenient, or your desire, but your children want to love both their parents without feeling guilty or being forced to choose a side.
It took two people to make the child, and that child wouldn’t exist without both parents. When you are spewing anger and hatred about each other you are telling your child half of them is BAD. That is not fair to a child. Keep your opinions to yourself, and let your children enjoy being children.
If you are asked to rearrange parenting time, please ask yourself if you are refusing the request because IT IS BEST FOR YOUR CHILD. If you are refusing because it is unfair to you – reconsider. The court is only interested in what is in the “best interest of the child.” They are not looking for what is fair to parents.
Please keep this in mind over the holidays, as there aren’t many children who do not want to be included in the fun and festivities of their families. Let them be loved and enjoy their holidays with BOTH parents when possible. You will never have too many people love a child! Your children will thank you!